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......... [Mar. 29th, 2004|02:19 am]
[mood |bouncybouncy]

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im drunk [Jan. 31st, 2004|05:13 am]
Right Now I'm talking to Harrison.. HEY Harrison.. Mwahahahahha.. IM Drunk.. and Im yellow.. and I love me.. and SOMEONE LOVES ME BACK.. WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ... well.. the love me as a friend.. cuz IM cool.. I have no idea what im talking about
Harrison your weird on the phone ;).. okay im done
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My Angel [Jan. 6th, 2004|04:14 am]
[mood |uncomfortablecrying]
[music |none]

I wonder if you look down on me..
I wonder if you'll remember me.. when I get to heaven..
I wonder if you love will be strong..
I wonder if you'd want hear my songs..
I wonder if your here with me..
I wonder if you'll always be.. My Angel..

You were there when no one else was..
You were there when no one cared
I cried on your sholder..
Now I know now when I get older.. You'll not be by my side.. My Angel

I cannot believe.. you are gone... I'm lost in my mind.. trying to think of a song.. My Angel

I'm sorry for not being there..
I'm sorry if I came across as if I didn't care..

But I love you.. and I miss you..
The tears are streaming down my face..I feel as if I'm covered in Disgrace.. You are My Angel..
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Christy [Jan. 6th, 2004|04:01 am]
[mood |depressedlost with out you]
[music |Descending Angel by Misfits]

Christy... I'm gonna miss you girl.. You were the most awesome person that i knew.. and I still know.. I just want you to know that i'll be thinking of you.. and how much I miss you.. I just wish I could see you again.. you know?? I Love you.. and... just remember that I love you... and I care for you and all.. even though I know that you can't get online to see this.. but i know you are over my sholder looking down on me.. I wish I could just say goodbye.. this is my way to cope i think.. yeah.. i think.. I'm sorry i wasn't at your funeral.. because I didnt know anything about it.. and I hope you forgive me for it... I love you.. and I just want you to know.. that I'm sorry.. I'm So SOrry.. I should have been there.. I should have aleast done something.. I don't know..I'm just at a lost for words.. You've been there with me through alot.. and I wasn't even there for you when all this happen.. maybe I could have stopped it.. Maybe.. Just Maybe.... I love you Girl.. and JUst remember that I'm always.. ALWAYS going to think about you..
<3 <3 <3
Love forever and always
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No subject can describe How I feel right now.. [Jan. 5th, 2004|05:33 am]
I just found out one of my really good friends and her boyfriend died on New Years Eve. She was staying the night over at her Boyfriends house and they were in the bed when three dudes broke into the apartment and shot them, She was shot twice in the back of the neck and he was shot in the head..... I have no idea why exactly someone one do that? Why? Why is life so fucked up..and Why is God so CRUEL? She Just got well again from being in a wreck, they thought she wasn't going to make it.. and she did, then they said she'd never walk again.. but she started walking,I saw her two weeks ago at Club Oxygen.. She was fine... but why did she have to die dude, she was only 26, she hadn't even lived her life yet.What is this world coming to? I am so torn up about this. I don't know what to do.. I don't know.. My mother called me this evening and told me..
--She said " Jess are sitting down ?" I said" No!"
-- she said " You need to sit down" so I did
-- I said.. "Mom what is it.. is it about you? Is it about Amber? Is it about Candace? What.. Is it someone I know?'"
--She said" Oh yeah.. you know her.. Jess... Christy died on New Years Eve.."
--I screamed"BULLSHIT"
-- she said "No.. not bullshit"

Christy is one of my really good friends, I just don't exactly know what to do about this, I'm going crazy.. I don't know.. its Just really hard.. I think I'm going to go to bed now though, considering its almost six Am where I am... ::laughs:: I've been crying all night and I guess I just had to write this stuff down... yeah.. well I'm going to go now.. ::nods:: bye..
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